"My name is Jeannette Baptiste," she answers, her voice taking on a very strong French accent when she speaks the name. "And you?"
"Louis Lincoln. You French or something?"
"I think that would be obvious, since I am speaking it right now."
"Wha--? No you're not. I can hear you talking perfect English."
"While I have been told my English is very good," she says, now in a somewhat thick yet understandable French accent, "I assure you I was not speaking it a before. It sounds to me as if you are speaking fluent French."
"But I don't know any--ohhh, oh I get it. Those aliens must have a universal translator thing going. I mean, we're in VR pod things or whatever so I guess it's already interfacing with our brains anyway. But, uh, what were you doing in that tree?"
She shrugs. "I woke up there a few minutes ago, after they were putting us in those pods. Your shouting woke me up, actually." Her speech has resumed a seeming accentlessness that probably marks a return to her native language from her own perspective.
"So you probably didn't pick a class yet, huh?"
"Non. I am guessing that is how you received your fancy clothes and sword?"
Interrupting Louis' response, a screen appears in front of Jean with a message displayed in the center:
Conseils: Comment vaincre le jeu!
1. Coopérer! Deux avis valent mieux qu'un.
2. Exercez! Un muscle non utilisé est faible.
3. Ne désespérez! Vous ne savez pas ce qui arrivera ensuite.
"Aww, it's in French."
"Well, it is my screen, no?"
The Froggy Ninja Wrote:Does this character have a class yet? If so what? If not search 'Trigonometry' and 'Worldbrink Mage'.
Curris Wrote:Well, she climbed that tree without class abilities, so she's probably reasonably sneaky and athletic based on natural talent.
She also doesn't seem to enjoy seeing a wolf get razor'd up too much. Animal affinity?
Class suggestions -> Ghost (literally a spirit), Assassin, Lancer (Death from above style Jump-stabbing), Pickpocket, FreeRunner (Parkourist), Tourist, Wushu Monk.
The Froggy Ninja Wrote:+1 to ghost + ghost buster
1412 Wrote:I still want to see what that unpronounceable class that came up in the Zaubermancer search is.
Bakumaster Wrote:She must be either a calculist(calculus) or a quantum mechanic(a field of science).
Lonewolfeslayer Wrote:Meh she is the scout :p
Beastnix Wrote:>she looks smart, maybe she's the smartass class
"..Did you hear someone whispering just now?"
"Nope. Anyway, you might wanna pick a class pretty soon. I mean, another f***in' giganto-wolf might come barreling in any time now."
She starts working on the screen, the guy looking over her shoulder. "I think it's that one there. It's a search engine thing."
"I have eyes. Allow me to use them."
{Meta: For your choosing convenience, the class searches and resulting descriptions are fully translated to English.}
"Wh..the h*** are you typing in?"
"It is a class, no?"
"That's not the kind of.." Louis trails off at the sight of an actual result coming up.
Trigonometry: 1 result found.
Trigonometrist:
Use triangle-based mathematics to fight. You're the one who thought to choose this class, so obviously you can figure out how to use it properly.
"The actual f***?"
"Interesting. I wonder what other maths have classes.."
Calculus: 2 results found.
Differential Calculist:
Use mathematics involving the measurement of rates of change to fight. You're the one who thought to choose this class, so obviously you can figure out how to use it properly.
Integral Calculist:
Use mathematics concerned with summing infinite infinitesimal-width vertical sections to fight. You're the one who thought to choose this class, so obviously you can figure out how to use it properly.
"They all seem to have the same warning on them," says the young woman. "Well, what of this?"
Quantum Mechanic: 4 results found.
Probability Mage:
By the very definition, results will definitely vary.
Dimensional Mage:
You really are just looking to have as many opportunities as possible to screw yourself and your friends over, aren't you?
Machinist:
Yes, that little steam-driven spider looked very impressive up until the moment where it got stepped on.
Gadgeteer:
Your tools are moderately less effective and only slightly more reliable than those of a Gunner, but considerbly more varied--which means about half of them will never be useful in the least.
"Hey, can I show you something real quick?"
"What?"
"Just, lemme type something in the search bar, and watch what it does." He types in a certain pair of words, and, predictably, the screen starts flickering and glitching out.
?▩?◆☼?◆☼?◆▩▷☼?▩▷◆☼: 608413 ☼☼ult(s) ▥▧und.
W▮rl***^k_**ge:
Cast s▽▽▽ls at the cost of s&nity. yOuR SSSSSsssss might not c0me back. Not eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
outsidetheg@me. ######sly, don't take this cl(ε).
"WHAT THE F*** DID YOU DO TO MY SCREEN?!"
"Hey, I didn't make it do that. It's not permanent, I promise. It just does that whenever you type in that class name. And if you go to pick that class it has this waiver for you to sign. It's crazy."
"Hm. According to this, the class has one cast spells at the cost of...sanity. Which may be permanently lost, even outside of the game."
"Huh? It didn't say that for me. It just said that it hadn't been playtested, and 'don't take it'. Weird, the descriptions are usually the same every time you get the same class as a result."
"Well, this is the exception to a lot of things, I expect."
"Hold on, lemme try something else."
"F*** off!"
"No, no, wait, lemme just--gah!" Jean backhands Louis, knocking him straight off to the ground on one side, but not before he managed to enter in most of what he was trying to search for.
Utzgabadzfsd: 1 result found.
Utzgarignjer:
You probably thought you wouldn't get any results from banging randomly on the keyboard. Well, lucky you then!
"Oh. This seems more tame, if a bit useless a description."
He stands up. "How the h*** did you just push me over like that?"
She shrugs. "I was just trying to get you away because you were being obnoxious. Your weight is like a feather. Now, allow me to attempt some things."
Ghost: 2 results found.
Astral Mage:
Spending all of your time gaining power in the astral plane means having a nearly useless body in the physical one.
Necromancer:
Everyone hates you. No, really. Everyone. And physically you are almost as weak as an Astral Mage.
Ghost Buster: 2 results found.
Cleric of ________:
Here's the deal: You have to serve a god. The god you serve determines what abilities you get. Which god it is, is chosen for you personally--and not in a good way. If you don't please your god, you don't get any powers.
Paladin:
All the worst parts of a Knight and Cleric in one.
Scout: 1 result found.
Ranger:
Useless in cities and not much better in other cramped spaces.
Pickpocket: 1 result found.
Taker Rogue:
When you focus your energy on learning to make a profit, two things happen: (1) you can't take a hit; (2) you're only mildly okay at killing things.
"Hmm.."
Assassin: 1 result found.
Slayer Rogue:
You're nowhere near as good as a Taker Rogue at making a profit, and you still can't take a hit.
"That could be interesting, perhaps. I wonder if..?"
Free Runner: 2 results found.
Taker Rogue:
When you focus your energy on learning to make a profit, two things happen: (1) you can't take a hit; (2) you're only mildly okay at killing things.
Slayer Rogue:
You're nowhere near as good as a Taker Rogue at making a profit, and you still can't take a hit.
"I see."
"What? What do you see? I can't read any of this bulls***."
"Would you like another backhand, cat-boy?"
Tourist: 1 result found.
Civilian:
Literally the most useless class. The only purpose of including this class is to weed out the stupid early on and provide a challenge to those who feel the game is too easy. Also used for several non-combatant NPCs.
"That is surprisingly candid. And..perhaps something more strength-oriented to choose from, as well..."
Lancer: 4 results found.
Fighter:
Hope you enjoy taking all of the hits for everyone else, and not having any magic.
Knight:
Like a Figher who can't deal as much damage because he's much too busy wearing heavy armor and being a meat shield.
Paladin:
All the worst parts of a Knight and Cleric in one.
Mage-lance:
Not as resilient nor skilled as a proper Fighter; not as powerful as a proper Mage.
"I am guessing some of these warrior classes allow one to choose one's favored weapon from the start."
Wushu Monk: 1 result found.
Fist Monk:
Fight with your fists! It's not like weapons were invented for a reason or anything.
"Hmph."
Smarta**: No results found, smarta**.
"My my, such a comeback."
"Seriously, how are you so f***in' strong you can just brush me off like that and knock me over? You some kind of super-strong race or something?"
"Are you some strange form of racist, Louis?" she says, pronouncing the name as if it were a French one.
"No, I mean in the game d***it. Like how I'm obviously some kind of cat person?"
"I seem to be perfectly human," she responds, brushing back some of her hair to show an ordinary ear. "Perhaps cat people are exceptionally weak."
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